Whenever people go on a date, they often book the fanciest restaurants, buy tickets for the hottest events and visit the most interesting places for the most exciting experiences.

They hope that these kind of experiences will give them a good time and add ‘sparks’ to an otherwise boring date — a way to help set the mood, similar to how alcohol helps people relax. 

But the truth is, it doesn’t work that way.

It’s not where you go or what you do that determines how well your date turns out. It’s how well you connect with someone emotionally.

Some of my best dates have been inside of my car drinking milk tea with someone I could easily talk with, whereas some of my worst dates have been hiking at the beautiful mountains in California with someone I couldn’t really relate to. Even though I love hiking and being outdoors, the environment and activity itself wasn’t enough for me to feel completely in sync with someone. It’s the person.

It’s the way they think, the way they treat you, the things they believe in, the things they do —if you find yourself being able to connect with someone in these aspects, the closer you’ll feel. Conversations should feel natural. Your minds will be at peace. And everything around you will become a blur, except you and him/her.

In that case, does it matter where you are? Or what’s happening around you?

When you’re with someone who could turn your world anywhere you go, you don’t need fancy decors or expensive entertainment to feel any closer. What matters more is the kind of person they are and how much common ground you both share.