Whenever an argument arises between me and someone I care about, I tend to evoke the same reaction: I walk away and ‘think about it’ until I feel ready to resolve the issue.
I know — it’s a childish move and I should confront the problem when it happens, but I figured that maybe, just maybe…
I once thought that happiness came from achieving a big milestone of success, like graduating from a good college, getting a fat paycheck every month, finding the love of your life, buying a new home and raising talented kids. It’s what everyone — including my parents, teachers and friends — has nudged me to pursue as my ‘destiny’.
When I first started traveling in Southeast Asia, I’d stop by every Chinatown there was, shop at the largest malls I could find and eat at the highest-rated restaurants. That was what I thought traveling was — adventure and excitement from seeing and eating the same things others before me had done. It was fun, no doubt, but at times I would wonder if there was more I could do.
Hearing the term, work-life balance, has always made me cringe because honestly, it’s not my strong suit. I always think about work, whether or not I’m taking the right direction in life, and this often leaves me feeling like I’m not doing enough, which makes me want to keep working. If I had to describe this feeling more accurately, it’s like an itch I can never scratch.
Last night, I couldn’t sleep.
I tried to, but no matter how many freaking sheeps I counted or how slow I tried to breathe, I couldn’t get myself to fall asleep. The Hong Kong milk tea I had drank earlier (which surprisingly has the same amount of caffeine as a cup of coffee does) that evening was a lot stronger than I had anticipated.
So what did I do?