In almost every first date I go on, I get asked the same question, “Do you want to get some drinks?”
Even when I tell him for the 2nd, 3rd…10th time that I can’t stand the taste of alcohol, he still persists. Now I get where he’s coming from and in most societies, people drink to feel more open being themselves, to break their fear of being judged.
There’s nothing wrong with drinking to express your true self, but sometimes there’s more you can do to feel comfortable in your own skin, than rely on the booze.
1. Open your arms
I remember watching Amy Cuddly’s video: Your body language shapes who you are. And the one thing that fascinated me was how you can trick your body into feeling more powerful — simply by opening your arms. By doing this, you tell your mind (and the people around you) how much you pride in your abilities and your potential to be somebody more.
2. Comb your hair
The reflection you see in the mirror every morning defines your whole day. If you see a mess of hair, you’ll instantly label yourself as an incapable person who can’t get anything in order. But if you keep your hair neat and well-groomed, you’ll naturally feel good about yourself. Not to mention, people will treat you with more respect.
Bring your comb or brush on-the-go, and start combing. A shower, shave or make-up can do a great deal, too.
3. Wear clothes you love
You are what you dress. If you put on your favorite jeans that make you look slimmer or a tight tank top to show off your curves, you’ll beam with more confidence.
Pick colors that make you happy, go shopping for stunningly attractive pieces, or simply put on your most stylish outfit. No matter where you are, it’s crucial to be comfortable in what you wear. If you feel it, others will, too.
4. Stand tall and straight
Keep your spine upright as much as possible. Because when people see your back slouched or arms folded to hide your stomach, they automatically assume you’re lazy and weak. That’s not how you want to be perceived, right?
According to a study in the journal Psychological Science, standing tall and straight helps you feel more powerful on the inside and brings out the social signal to others that you know exactly what you want in life.
The trick to getting your body to stand tall is to imagine an invisible rope pulling you towards the sky while another lifts your chin.
5. Maintain eye contact
When you talk to someone, don’t let your eyes wander off to distractions. Don’t stare either, but rather look into their eyes with admiration.
Not only will you be showing respect, but your listener will feel more important and proud because they see that you’re listening carefully to their words. And that’s not what everyone can do.
6. Remember a powerful moment
Remember that moment when you felt like the most powerful person in the world? Whether that was acting as the prince/princess in the school play, graduating from high school, nailing an interview, or giving the funniest speech at your best friend’s wedding, these moments remind you of how awesome you actually are.
According to Experimental Social Psychology, a moment when you did something great increases your confidence. In their experiment, they asked participants to recall a time when they had a powerful performance, before jumping into an interview. It turned out that those participants did better on the interview than the ‘powerless’ applicants.
7. Move your body
Listen to Shape magazine — the more you work out, the better body posture and blood flow you will have, boosting your confidence tremendously. Especially if you keep exercising, you’ll realize how much more attractive you’re getting. And that alone is enough to keep your confidence brimming to the max.
Want to be more attractive without spending hours infront of the mirror? Why not try building these little habits to boost your self-confidence?
8. Talk slowly
Contrary to what most people think, speaking slowly vs too quickly makes you appear more confident. Think about those people with authority — most of them speak slowly to emphasize what their main message is. And even though it may seem like they know every fact there is, they don’t. But their high self-esteem creates the illusion that they do.
So, try it yourself. Instead of sounding like you’re in a hurry for talk, slowly explain the matter. Convince your listeners that what you’re saying is worth their time. They’ll listen to every word you say more carefully, giving you more respect.
9. Check off your ‘to-do list’
Sometimes doing a thing we never thought we could spikes up our self-confidence. Oh, if I can call my crush, I can do anything.
Make your own to-do list and try ticking off all the fields. Make sure you include some new goals and habits. Nothing is impossible and the sooner you understand that, the more confident you’ll become.