I remember dating this guy who didn’t hate anything, or at least didn’t show it, during the first few months that we hung out.
What ice cream flavor do you like?
What movie genre do you watch?
What do you think of Justin Bieber? Kim Kardashian?
He’s cool / She’s cool.
It drove me crazy, because I couldn’t find what was so special about him. I didn’t know what ticked him off, who he admired, what he valued, what he was afraid of. He merely hid all of his thoughts and emotions underneath a smile, as if nothing in the world bothered him.
But that’s a problem most of us, including me, do in the beginning of a relationship.
We put on our best masks in front of others, hoping we would be liked more — by agreeing with opinions we don’t necessarily believe in, by expressing an interest in something we hate or don’t give a fuck about.
We’d rather agree and like what everyone else likes than to voice our own opinion and reveal the uncomfortable truth. Simply because it’s safer.
But here’s the thing about relationships:
It doesn’t go far if you don’t fully express who you are.
People can tell if you’re not being genuine. They can tell if you hold back, or if you try too hard to impress them. It’s obvious through your gestures, the tone of your voice, the words that you say, and the expression you make on your face. And if they catch you acting insincere because you’re desperate for approval, you lose their trust — which is everything you need for a long-lasting relationship.
So why jeopardize your relationships?
Isn’t it more rewarding to just be yourself and express how you really feel? What ticks you off? What you really hate?
People remember these pieces of information about you more. And if you express your deepest beliefs, values and opinions, chances are you’ll meet somebody who thinks the same.